Finding Bliss (Bliss #1) Read online

  Should I have warned her about the similarities, instead of letting it be a shock?

  “Yeah, that’s Stacy.”

  “No.” She started trembling. “No!” She wrenched herself out of my arms, spun around and ran, running like she was in sneakers instead of heels, to get away.

  Guess that answers my question.

  Pastor Neil and the woman with him were wide-eyed with concern when I glanced at them. “I, uh, I’ll be right back. She’s upset. I’ll just… I’ll just go check on her.” I pivoted and took off after her.

  When I made it back into the foyer, Sam was rushing out of the ladies room, frantic. “What in the hell just happened? Clara ran in there like the hounds of hell were chasin’ her. She’s in there pukin’.”

  “What?”

  What’s going on?

  I ran my hands through my hair, at a loss. “She saw Stacy’s picture.”

  “Grey, I’m not gettin’ a good feelin’ about this,” Sam disclosed, her face ashen.

  “I’m goin’ in there. She doesn’t need to be alone.” Before I could step past Sam, she grabbed my arm and stopped me.

  “What does this mean, Grey?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.”

  I left it at that and pushed open the door to the women’s bathroom. It was quiet. There were five stalls, so I peeked under them to find Clara. She was in the handicap one at the end.

  I knocked on the doorframe. “Clara? Are you okay?”

  She remained silent.

  “Clara?”

  Her voice finally came, but it was so quiet and weak, the pain there confounding. “Go away, Grey. I need to be alone right now.”

  “That’s the last thing you need, darlin’.”

  “And you would know? You don’t know me.” She sounded dead almost, her words flat.

  “I know that there’s somethin’ goin’ on here. Your reaction to Stacy’s picture proves that.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me we looked alike?”

  And why does that sound like an accusation?

  “I noticed, sure, but I didn’t realize there was any significance there.”

  “That’s bullshit,” she snapped.

  “How could I know that?”

  “Just go. I’ll call a cab to come get me. I need to leave. I have to leave this place.”

  I placed my palm on the door, and much to my surprise, I found it unlocked. I was only planning on leaning into it as I talked to her. Once I swung it open, I found her on the ground with her back to the wall and her arms around her knees, her head resting on them.

  This woman obviously needed someone. She was still trembling, but it was so much more than that. Something was causing a deeply embedded fear to come to the forefront – she was scared out of her mind. I’d never seen anyone appear this fragile.

  “I said go, Grey. Leave me alone,” she whispered, not sparing me a glance.

  I sat next to her, not caring about the dirty floor. I wrapped an arm around her and tugged her close, hoping to seep some of my warmth and security into her. I wasn’t surprised when her body became stiff, unyielding.

  “I’m sorry for whatever it is that you’re goin’ through. I’m at odds here, Clara. I don’t understand it.”

  “You never would,” she muttered, trying to shrug me off.

  I held her tighter, refusing to let go. “Then tell me.”

  She barked out a bitter laugh and met my gaze, hers sparking with fire. “I don’t know who you are, Grey. You seem nice and all, but I do not trust you. That’s something you earn, and you’ve only existed for me since Friday. Do you think you’ve earned that already?”

  I kept my grin to myself. She might be upset, but she had spirit and grit to her. I liked that more than I wanted to admit.

  “No, I guess I haven’t. But I wanna make sure you’re okay. Is that so bad?”

  She sighed and relaxed her head against my pectoral. “I guess not. I just…” She groaned and exhaled softly. “I want to be far away from here. Seeing her picture threw me. I’ll be okay. Let me calm down.”

  “Take however long you need. I’ll stay with you.”

  She peered up at me with soulful eyes. They pleaded with me not to leave her, though her words didn’t match. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  I didn’t know why this was, either, but it was a fact. I wouldn’t and couldn’t leave her by herself. Not like this.

  In a short amount of time, she had come to mean something more to me than just being Jon’s sister. The vulnerability inside her made me want to protect her, comfort her.

  What does that mean?

  ♥♥♥

  We stayed that way for a good ten minutes. It was enough time for her to stop shivering, but it was also enough time for people to start arriving – I could hear whispered conversations from the foyer.

  I wasn’t worried about what people thought. If anyone saw us coming out of the bathroom together, or found us here for that matter, and thought something else was going on, they were imbeciles. She’d just lost her brother.

  Clara finally whispered, “I think my chances of escaping are gone. What do you think?”

  “I think you’re right,” I answered solemnly.

  She giggled.

  She actually giggled against my chest.

  The sound was like nothing I’d ever heard before, and I had a feeling she didn’t do it often.

  I liked that.

  I liked that I gave it to her.

  “We should probably go.”

  “Only if you wanna. We can sit here durin’ the whole service if that’s what you need.”

  And I meant every word.

  She stared up at me, dazed by my offer. “You’d do that? He was your friend.”

  My smile was saddened. “That’s true. But he’s dead, and you’re very much alive. And there’s somethin’ goin’ on here that leaves a dirty taste in my mouth,” I admitted, hating that it was true. “I’m not sure what it is, darlin’” – she tried to object – “and I understand you don’t wanna tell me. That’s fine with me, Clara. But if you can’t walk in there and sit through that, I’m going where ever you go. You need a shoulder to lean on right now more than I need to sit through that service.”

  Something came over her, and I was startled by the sudden change.

  “If you would leave for me, when I know what it means to be able to say goodbye to someone you care for, then I can sit in there with you. Just don’t leave me by myself. Okay?”

  That something was determination.

  I was right; she had grit.

  “You don’t have to do that, Clara.” It meant a lot that she would.

  “Yes, I do. I came here for this, Grey. I should be in there. Just stay with me.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  ♥♥♥

  “Call me if you need me,” I said as I parked in front of the B&B. “There’s some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet if you need it.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she returned, giving me a tight smile.

  She was feigning a headache, but I wasn’t going to call her out on it. There comes a time when everyone needs a breather to themselves.

  And Clara needed it.

  If I didn’t have to go to the reception Mom and Dad were throwing, I’d be feigning a headache, too. It was going to be torture.

  I reached over and squeezed her hand. Even though she held it almost the entire funeral, she flinched slightly before returning the gesture. “Well, get some sleep. I’ll call you this evening to check on you.”

  “You don’t have to do that, Grey.”

  I dipped my chin and gave her a piercing look. “I do. Today has been hell, Clara.”

  She blew out a breath from the side of her mouth. “Yeah…” She studied me for a moment, then asked, “Why wasn’t Stacy’s family there?”

  “Her parents are dead. She didn’t have anyone else.”

/>   Clara frowned. “That seems…wrong.”

  If it weren't for the palpable fear she’d experienced today, I would have said something snarky about her not wanting to come to her brother’s funeral. Instead, I murmured, “I know.”

  She opened the door and slid out of the vehicle, peering over her shoulder at me. “Well, thanks for…everything, Grey. I wouldn’t have been able to get through that if it weren't for you.”

  I winked at her. “My pleasure, darlin’.”

  “Goodbye, Grey.”

  “Bye, Clara.”

  The door shut loudly, and I watched her walk around the side of the B&B, rather than through it, to get to my house. I stayed there until I couldn’t see her anymore, needing a moment to gather myself, to process everything.

  Today had been a disaster.

  First, I should have said something about the resemblance. That was my fuck up, but it wasn’t my only one.

  I should’ve had Clara seated well before the rest of the town arrived. The funeral was delayed ten minutes because a lot of people wanted the chance to talk to Clara. The questions and concern became too overwhelming for Clara, so I had to rudely push through the crowd to get to the first pew, where Mom, Dad, and Sam awaited us.

  The service was like every other funeral service I’d attended, but this one was for Jon. When picturing the moment before today, I imagined myself distraught, overwhelmed by grief.

  That was not the case.

  I was more aware of the woman next to me than anything else. She held my hand and listened with rapt attention, soaking in each and every word of the service. Her grip on my hand became tighter and tighter as the minutes ticked by, but it wasn’t in sorrow – it was in anger and bewilderment. Clara honestly hated her brother.

  My other fuck up came into play here.

  When planning the service, I’d asked several people around town to say some words about Jon and Stacy since I knew I wouldn’t be able to. I wanted the amazing things they’d done for Bliss to speak for themselves, to show that they were good, honorable individuals. I’d partially done this for Clara’s benefit. I thought she needed to know who Jon was before he died, not the person he was to her – the same one she didn’t want to ever see again.

  I regretted the decision while I watched her. I wanted to scoop Clara up, throw her over my shoulder, and make a break for it. My dad sat on the other side of her, watching as well. We grew more concerned after each eulogy. She looked as if she was about to shatter. She continued to behave like that through the service and the burial.

  What in the hell is going on with Clara?

  On that thought, I shook myself out of my reveries and started driving toward my parents’ house. I wanted this whole ordeal, every aspect of burying my best friend, over. To move on, it had to be.

  When I finally pulled up, it seemed as if I were the last to arrive – there were cars everywhere. I walked through the house, going from person to person. Eventually, a line of people formed to talk to me, everyone wanting to know all about Jon’s infamous sister. When you live in a small, close-knit community like ours, everyone was in everyone’s business. It couldn’t be helped.

  My mother, bless her, finally shooed them away and placed a sleeping Bella in my arms. I stared down at the little angel, wondering what was going to happen tomorrow.

  Would we see her again? Would Clara even keep her? Would she take Bella back to Chicago with her? If not, where would she go?

  “Why the long face?” Dad asked as he approached. “Jon would want you to celebrate his life, not sulk.”

  “Just thinkin’ about tomorrow.” I peered down at Bella again. She let out a sigh and stretched her arms before snuggling into my chest, gaining a grin from me.

  “What was all that with Jon’s sister? Did you see how much she resembled Stacy? This whole place is gossipin’ about it.” He gestured toward his full living room.

  I’d been asked this same question by a lot of people – it was all they could talk about. The resemblance was that uncanny.

  “I know. I saw it when I first met her this mornin’. When she saw Stacy’s picture…” I stared at him and leaned closer. “Dad, somethin’ is wrong with this whole thing.” I kept my voice low so that no one overheard.

  He gave me a duh expression. “I’ve already picked up on that, Grey.”

  “You’d be stupid not to,” Sam inserted as she came up behind us. She had caught a ride with my parents when I told her I was taking Clara back to the B&B. “What are we gonna do about it?”

  “What all happened?” Dad inquired. Sam and I relayed everything that transpired since this morning. When we were finished explaining, his expression darkened. “Do you think she’s fakin’ it?”

  I hadn’t thought of that.

  Was she?

  After deliberating it for a second, I said, “No. There’s no way. There were times when I could almost taste her pain and fear, Dad. There’s no way to fake somethin’ like that.”

  “I agree with Grey. I saw the same thing. That means the only answer is…?” Sam questioned uneasily. “I’m not likin’ where my mind’s jumpin’ to.”

  “I say we stop tryin’ to guess.” I peered down at Bella again and ghosted my fingers along her cheek. “Only time will tell, and still, we might never know. All that matters is Bella. We need to make sure she’s taken care of, no matter what.”

  Dad observed Bella, smiling woefully. “True. It’s sad – she’s never gonna know her parents.”

  I couldn’t imagine that.

  “How do you plan on tellin’ Clara about Bella?” Sam gave me a pointed look that said shit’s about to hit the fan.

  “I don’t know yet. She’s gonna walk into Lyndon’s office without a clue, and that bothers me immensely. Galen Talbert said to wait, but it seems wrong now that I’ve met her. After today, I know she won’t take it well and will probably hate me for it.”

  “I think you need to tell Mr. Talbert to take a flyin’ leap,” Sam growled and stepped closer to me. “I am pissed to all hell that someone would send her here, alone, when somethin’ bad happened to her because of Jon.”

  “We don’t know anythin’ like that,” I pointed out.

  “Somethin’ happened, Grey. My gut’s screamin’ at me that it did, and this Mr. Talbert knows it by your conversation. He’s gonna be gettin’ a call from me if I find out it’s what I think it is.”

  Sam took a deep breath to calm herself and then went on, her tone soft. “That woman doesn’t need to be blindsided again, Grey. We’ve already let her go to the funeral, only to find that her dead brother’s wife looked exactly like her. We shouldn’t have done that. It messed her up.”

  She smoothed the hair on Bella’s head, caressing it before she gave me her attention again. “I see that you don’t want to acknowledge what’s smackin’ you in the face. I loved Jon, too. But people have secrets – dark, disturbing ones. Your next door neighbor could be a serial killer, and you’d never know it. And so could your best friend. Everything that’s happened is tellin’ me that Jon had a pretty big secret, and it involves Clara.”

  Well, shit.

  She was right.

  I hadn’t wanted to say those words aloud just yet.

  “It looks like Clara will be meetin’ her niece tonight,” I murmured, sighing.

  “And what about Jon?” Sam rumbled. “Are you gonna figure that out?”

  “Sam…I can’t go there, yet. First, let me take care of Bella.”

  What I didn’t tell her – what I knew deep down in me – was that I was going to do everything in my power to find out.

  Chapter 7

  Clara

  Grey’s scent surrounded me as I lay in his bed. The sheets were freshly laundered – I could smell the detergent – but that didn’t mask that alluring element to his cologne. It was strangely comforting while I replayed the funeral through my mind.

  Jonathan married a woman who looked just like me. I should have guessed that when
I’d found out about Stacy. It made sense. My mind just wouldn’t go there. It was too disturbing.

  I’d called Galen after I came back to Grey’s and filled him in. Having kept my tears to myself during the funeral, as soon as I heard Galen’s voice, everything came pouring out in an overwhelming surge – I was hysterical. I blubbered every detail, but it didn’t make sense, even to me, and I was the one speaking.

  Once Galen had calmed me down enough to understand, he told me that he was getting on the next flight. I explained that it wasn’t warranted since he had court this week. Apparently, Jared, his nephew, needed to get his feet wet – his girl needed him more.

  Yes, it would have been nice to have him at the funeral. In fact, nice was an understatement. And yes, I would love to have him here for the reading of the will…but I had an unexpected champion.

  Grey.

  I couldn’t fully wrap my head around that.

  I didn’t like the fact that Grey could read me so well, and I could tell that he was already piecing things together by my actions. From what I’d gathered, Grey was too clever for his own good. However, what he thought happened and what actually happened were two different things.

  Nevertheless, he was having a hard time comparing the two different Jonathan’s we knew, and he didn't like the results.

  Even with all of that swirling through his mind, he stayed by me. I respected that. He was my rock during the funeral. I believed I would have fallen apart in front of God and everyone if Grey weren’t next to me, holding my hand.

  And what people were saying about Jonathan!

  They praised Jonathan like he was the Second Coming or something.

  I had a hard time not gagging.

  If they knew the truth…

  I wasn’t going to tell them, of course. I’d probably be stoned to death for spreading evil lies.

  The whole thing was unsettling. The people, Stacy…Grey.